Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
