So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize