end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
MIDGETS
????
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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