I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize