I hate your face
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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