well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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