were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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