No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
