No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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