4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
