doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
So. Much. Porn.
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