in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
