dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
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my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
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seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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