He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
