Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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