I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just want nice things and good sex
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
