There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
