you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
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The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
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if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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