it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize