Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
