if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Randomize