This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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