My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
