It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
