Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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