doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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