i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
