allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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