There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
