I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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