What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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