p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
