Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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