How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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