I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
