no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
