So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
