All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
