For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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