Can Purell be used as lube?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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