hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the day after is always just damage control
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
