Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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