you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
