who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize