you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
