i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Randomize
