He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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