Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
