what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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