Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
