On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Drake has all the answers
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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