U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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