We're like a lot better than the average bears
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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