$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
