cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
