my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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