i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
