Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
