New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
