is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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