just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
